We Are The Champions!

The 80's are officially back. This weekend I spent both days playing racquetball. That's right, folks, break out the head and wrist bands, goggles, and plastic blue rubber balls, they are cool again. Thanks to the PCS. It was great, and I even have a welt on my neck to prove my hardcore racquetball skillz thanks to a ball aimed directly at me (i'll kick your ass when it heals, JB). But, I held my own considering the last time I played, Ronald Reagan was president and Lindsay Lohan wasn't even born yet.

And really, the only way to unwind after a very athletic weekend was to watch Miss Universe 2006. I have never watched the contest before, but here are some observations I noticed during the show:

1. Almost all of the "judges" were from the U.S. No wonder Miss USA made it to the top 5, even wearing that ugly dress from Project Runway 3. It probably helped that Santino Rice was one of the judges.

2. Apparently, the women have a "National Costume" competition before the main event at night. Now, I think they should show that part, because that seems to be the most entertaining. The winner this year was Miss Japan (check her out in this photo). Nothing says Japan like an S&M Samurai Warrior. How fun would that have been to see!!!


3. One of the 4 (yes, 4!) co-hosts was Carson Kressley from Queer Eye. I find him pretty entertaining usually. However, last night was the exception. If he claimed he was going to "switch teams" after seeing another woman come out in her bathing suit, I was going to scream. Carson is gayer than Charles Nelson Reilly having a threesome with George Michael and Jim J. Bullock. Switching teams isn't an option. Period. So stop saying it.

4. The last observation came 12 hours AFTER the show. Apparently, the winner - Miss Puerto Rico - collapsed after the show, during a press conference. My favorite quote from a pageant representative, "She got dizzy. Its very hot up here. Her dress is tight - as you could see it was beaded and heavy. She passed out." Let's be honest, the poor girl has only eaten a Tic-Tac in the past two weeks, something says that skimpy dress (that must get quite a draft) isn't the cause of her collapse.

Congratulations, Miss Puerto Rico. Now go get una hamburguesa - you deserve it!