Where for art thou, Television?

This is the scene in DC this week. Storms bring clouds, clouds bring thunder and lightning and rain, rain brings muds and puddles and puddles damage cable. No cable means no TV. No TV brings tears for the PCS. Many tears, falling like raindrops. Life is so cyclical.

Without TV, what is a boy to do?
- Read a book - a B-O-O-K? WHAT'S THAT?
- Listen to music - I am so sick of my iPod songs, I really need to get some new music. I'm still listening to Indigo Girls from 1994..."Galileo's head was on the block, the crime was looking up the truth...." My crime is still having that album on my iPod.
- Have a conversation - it would only lead back to how much we miss, and ultimately cannot live without, TV.

So, the only option left was to watch our Tivo Suggestions. For those who don't know, Tivo randomly picks shows to tape based on what you already Tivo. For example, if I get Tivo to continuously record The Golden Girls, it will start suggesting, oh, say, Designing Women. Even my Tivo has gaydar.

We were so desparately seeking TV that we watched a show on Fine Living about dessert wines, a show on Cartoon Network called Morel Orel, and an entire Judy Tenuta stand up routine from 1989 or 1990 (and have added her to my list of people I want to interview for WATN? magazine). Seriously, what the hell is with the accordian and those noises? Who paid to see her show?? Went to bed after that since all that was left was "Mad About You" and we refused to even go there.

Rain, rain, go away, bring TV back before Tivo starts suggesting Carrot Top specials!