Jodie Foster, Singing Waitstaff, and Pigeon Poop

Back from my weekend in NYC, the city that never sleeps...and neither do I when I'm there. It's been a long time since I have stayed up all night. I almost cried when the sun was coming up and I was eating greasy diner food at almost 6am, but then again, you only live once.

Here are the highlights from the weekend in NYC:

1. Jodie Foster meets the pop culture savant. Well, truth be told, we didn't meet in person, but I imagined her waving to me from across the street. When I got off of the bus, I walked to Times Square and was pretty close to her filming a movie. I was so happy that it wasn't someone lame like Melanie Griffith or Sharon Stone.

2. Ellen's Stardust Diner. All of this excitement was making me hungry, so I decided to get away from the loud noises and crowds of the city and grab a salad at a local joint. I saw a sign for Ellen's Stardust Diner; it beckoned me. "A diner, that's perfect, " I said out loud to noone in particular. "Table for one, " I told the host/waiter when I walked in. I looked to my right as I was guided to my table. Why are those waitresses singing 'Phantom of the Opera', I thought to myself. And then it hit me.... ALL THE WAITSTAFF ARE SINGING AND I CANNOT LEAVE! So, after getting my lunch, I would occassionally have to put down my fork, and clap and fake smile before asking for more Diet Coke.

3. Poop happens. Have you ever been standing on the sidewalk of one of the world's largest cities surrounded by thousands of passerbys when all of a sudden a pigeon takes a huge shit on your head? Well, if not, let me tell you, you are missing out. I mean, it's the single most embarassing thing. And if one more person tells me that it's "good luck", I'm gonna hold a pigeon over your head until it poops and see how lucky you feel. The gods were shining on me that fateful afternoon, 'cause for some reason, I was wearing a hat. I threw it out immediately, went to a store and am now the proud owner of a blue NY Yankees hat. Go Yanks!

3. Elephantitis Balls. On Saturday, we were staying with our friend who lives in Brooklyn. She decided that it would be fun to see the show, "Naked Boys Singing". For those who don't know, it is essentially what you think it is. Boys. Singing. Naked. Maybe about 8 of them. Singing. Naked. There is basically no plot to this show, just good ole fashion gratuitious nudity. The lyrics are simple, the songs corny, and the acting atrocious. One of the "performers" was interesting. He was the oldest in the cast, probably in his late 40's, but in very good shape. The thing was, he had the biggest balls I have ever seen. I turned to my friends in horror, and my other friend screams out, "Look at those! It looks like he has elephantitis balls!!!!" I believe the actor heard her.

4. Don't let the sun go up on me. In order to move on from the show, we immediately met up with our friend's uncle for drinks near the theatre. The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. We drank, then had another drink, then drank again, and continued to drink for several hours at this bar called Posh. The name scared us a little, but it was a little bit of false advertising. It was nice, but certainly not posh. Everyone was nice to us DC folk, and people were even polite while waiting in line for the bathroom. We caught a cab back to Brooklyn, went to a diner, ate, and walked back to the apartment, with the sun coming up over the horizon. We screamed in horror because of how late we had stayed out, climbed into bed and didn't wake up til noon. It was like being 25 all over again.

As much as I love visiting New York, one of my favorite parts is leaving. It's a great town to visit, but it overwhelms me. Back to DC, the city that goes to bed at 2am.